Ignorance is Bliss... Right?

I declare that ignorance is bliss. And the Constitution protects my right to be happy. So according to the foundation of the laws of our country, I should be allowed to be ignorant, should I so choose, because that makes me happy. Isn't that right? That being said, I feel that my rights are being infringed upon, by a constant and unrelenting barrage of media. From morning to night, I am harangued by news coverage. When I get up every morning, the radio is on in the kitchen, broadcasting news and political talk shows. When I get to school, there is discussion amongst teachers and students, even class discussions regarding the upcoming election and hot-button topics. Politics is ALL my friends talk about at lunch--or, debate and argue is more like it. After school, I hear more peers talking about what they did in Gov--official debate over controversial issues: Prop 8, abortion, MORE about the election... When I get home, I might have an hour or so of quiet, but then my dad gets home, and because he doesn't have access to news during the day, turns on the TV to MORE talk shows and news. All around me, there is nothing but opinionated people declaring their opinions to each other and attacking peoples' character for holding DIFFERENT opinions. And frankly, I am sick to death of it! I'm told there was a time where people could respectfully hold discussions of their political views, where people took turns speaking, and didn't throw in irrelevant information, lie, make things up, in order to prove their point. Once upon a time, it didn't matter if a governor's daughter had gotten pregnant at age 17, or if a senator's father was a Muslim. These personal aspects of each politician's life stayed OUT of the spotlight. All that mattered was the views of each politician and what their plan was for their time in office. But it's not like that anymore! This election has been more brutal than ANY other in recent years. Both campaigns are smearing each other as much as they possibly can. They're playing dirty, in a desperate attempt to win as swing votes. But it seems to me that there are VERY few fence sitters anymore. Almost everyone knows where their loyalty lies. So there has ceased to be any sort of civilized debate in an attempt to show who supports what and to allow voters to decide which candidate is best suited for their needs. All it is now is a bunch of violent mudslinging that does nothing but divide us all. The other thing that bothers me is that everyone is SO set in their views. Neither side is EVER willing to concede a point. WHY?! I don't understand it. All anyone ever seems to WANT to do is pick a fight. Personally, I don't KNOW what my beliefs really are anymore. There's so much crap flying around, so many attacks, that every argument cancels out its opposition. Everything is contradictory, and I don't know what to believe anymore. To me, it all sounds like lies. And I'm SURE that all this fighting can't be helping anything. All it does is make me stressed and on the defensive, when really, this stuff DOESN'T MATTER TO ME! Here's my proposition. For ONE DAY, let's not talk about politics. I already know too much. But I'm casting my vote for ignorance. Because too much information is NOT making anyone happy.

Lots of things that might not actually interest you :]

My birthday was last week. Looking back on the day, well, it wasn't that amazing...it didn't feel like my birthday. And the fact that it WAS made it almost worse...but I think it was my fault. I think I could have made it a better day. Oh well...it's over now. Days aren't that important anyways, in the long run. Just because one specific day wasn't amazing doesn't mean the rest of the year will be terrible.

Man...this year. It's been one of the craziest years of my life. So much has happened...so much has changed. I've gotten stronger. I've learned more about myself as a person, and I'm still learning. I think someday I'll look back on this year and call it one of the best years of my life. I hope. I couldn't have predicted any of this...somehow it happened. I wonder what's still to come, what God has in store for me. Two months to go...At the moment, I can't even see past December. In my mind, New Years Eve is like a wall--a very tall wall. I can't really see over it...but I guess it's better this way, since it's hard worrying about the future. It's SUCH a waste of time, since worrying does absolutely nothing. It's like torture...an unfortunate part of human nature we can't ever seem to conquer. You might manage to push something from your mind for a little while, but it always comes back to haunt you.

Today was a good day though. Quite funny at times :] And then I had one of the most amazing evenings--my little sister went outside with me when it was dark, and we just ran around and lay down on my driveway and watched the stars and sang disney songs. We imagined we could fly :] God, I miss being a little kid...I miss my old neighbors. It makes me sad to think about everything we used to do to together, how much fun we had...at least I have the memories, even if they're painful. I certainly wouldn't want to forget.

But I felt so good and happy and WHOLE for once, with my little sister :] I felt like me...just me. That's who I am, the carefree girl who doesn't let worries get in her way. The optimistic one...the one who wants to travel to other worlds and go on adventures. I feel like I've been hiding parts of me inside...they come out sometimes when I'm alone or with my sister, or listening to a song. I don't want to keep them hidden. I'm sick of pushing my emotions away and not letting them out...so I'm determined to find myself again, and to keep being myself. Just me. Not perfect, not gorgeous. But me :]

Determination...that's something I've gotten this year. I don't know where it came from or when I ever started being so determined...stubborn and unwilling to give up. I worry it'll get me into trouble. That I'll be SO determined and set on something, and it won't work out at all the way I imagined...and I'll be heart-broken.

But then...God won't let my heart truly break, will he? God's inside my heart. It won't break as long as he's there...no matter what happens, my heart will remain. The world may shatter like pieces of glass around me, but if I keep holding onto to my little bit of faith, my little bit of wisdom, I'll survive. Somehow.

Oh December...I want you to come, but then I also don't want this year to end. I'm afraid of what will happen after New Years Eve, and before it.

God...give me patience and wisdom and faith. Don't let my heart break.

<3
Stephanie